{podcast id=511}
Funeral Service of Stanley Caldwell
Held at Menai Anglican Church 15 Feb 2019
Edited without songs for copyright reasons
Minister Revd Bruce Dingwall
Eulogies: Joy Appleby, Peter Caldwell, Zoe Caldwell & Jade Doyle, Andrew Appleby & Jacquie Davidson
Joy Appleby
Dad was born on 23 January 1928. He was an only child and grew up at Bass Hill. I think they were the only house in Clark Street for a long time. As a young lad he saw someone playing golf one day and was so attracted to the game that he fashioned a golf stick out of a plank of wood and made his own golf course in the paddock/tip?? next door. He used to claim later on that that was the only place he ever got a hole in one! Golf became one of his passions. He played regularly and whenever we were on holidays he would always find a golf course and have a game there. Later on he belonged to the golf group here at St Paul’s until the dementia started to affect his game. He loved it.
When he was 17 dad was invited to St Paul’s Church Bankstown tennis club. When he turned up a brown haired beauty went home after tennis and asked her Mum if a blonde curly haired boy asked her out could she go? So that’s how Dad met Mum. Tennis remained a theme throughout their lives and I think they played their last game about the age of 80. They were quite formidable on the court. They still maintain friendships with that tennis crowd, though many have passed on.
They met at 17, were engaged at 19 and married at 21. Mum was the love of his life and they did everything together. They had 3 children, Joy, Cheryl and Peter, and 9 grandchildren.
They honeymooned at The Knoll, Bundanoon. The day after they arrived they met another honeymoon couple who were married on the same day at the same time and had chosen the same wedding rings! Rod and Betty became lifelong friends, meeting monthly at alternate houses. They invited Mum and Dad to their house first. When it was time to visit Stan and Elva they discovered they lived in a 2 room garage. Dad showed them the foundations for their first home in Farnell Rd, Yagoona.
Dad and his father built 2 houses in Yagoona, one in Farnell Rd and one in Palomar Pde closer to the shops and train station. This was my family home and I remember Dad whistling as he did his chores. He played the mouth organ really well. He was very musical and his record collection reveals a very broad taste in music including the classics. The Blue Danube was a favourite of his.
Dad loved building things. He made bedroom furniture for us, floorboards for our tent, helped my sister Cheryl and Peter with their houses, and at 50 began work on 22 Miller Place, Menai. He even helped build St Paul’s. He was fit. While courting Mum he rode his pushbike from Bass Hill to South Bankstown. Ken Pender remembers him playing tug’o’war against the young ones at church and holding his own.
He drove us to sporting venues and was always interested in our activities. When I swam for the Bankstown Amateur Swimming Club he used to follow me down to the end of the pool with stopwatch in hand and later he’d say ‘You just don’t have that killer instinct, Joy!’ He was very competitive.
Dad left school at 15 and had a few jobs before he started at Lincoln Electrics in Alexandria. Later on the company moved to Padstow. He worked there for 37 years till he retired in July, 1984. He became the Assistant Accountant, then the Accountant. Almost every group he was involved in he would offer to be treasurer, from the Brownies to the school PnC to St Paul’s Menai. Bryan Pevely appreciated all the detailed accounts Dad prepared for this church.
Dad became a follower of Jesus and was confirmed on 15 September 1968 at St Marks, Yagoona. He loved the Lord and went to his study early every morning to read the bible and pray. In later years when he had the dementia he would always nod his head Yes if you asked him if he’d like you to read the bible to him or pray. He had Altzheimers for about 6-7 years and was in Warena for the past 3 years. The staff at Warena loved him because he was always smiling, never angry. It was a marvellous witness. It must’ve distressed him greatly not to be able to walk for the past 2 and a half years, being such an active, outdoors man- but he never showed that. Dad was not perfect but he was forgiven. Now he is with the Saviour he loved, face to face with him in glory.
Andrew Appleby & Jacquie Davidson
Hi, I’m Andrew Appleby, the first of three grandsons and second of 9 grandchildren.
Jacquie was Grandpa’s first grandchild and was born on Grandpa’s 47th birthday on the 23rd January; Grandpa often said to Jacquie “You were the best birthday present I ever had!” The last grandchild Demi was almost born on the same day but had her own ideas and was born three days before. Incidentally Grandpa died on my son’s 8th birthday on Wednesday last week.
Absence makes the heart grow fonder sums up our situation of living so far away from our grandparents. We really looked forward to visiting them or having them stay with us so seeing them was always a special occasion. That goes for our cousins, uncles and aunties as well; our extended family has always been special to us.
I’ve come across from Perth with Dale and Joy and my older sister Jacquie and her oldest son Alex.
As believers we shared a hope in Jesus with Grandpa and when it comes to death we don’t lose hope it only burns brighter. I remember Grandpa encouraging me to trust in Jesus as a teenager; he firmly believed he was under God’s authority and he’d been saved. I am greatly encouraged by Grandpa’s faith and that he finished well. I believe that his life serving others was grounded in his faith and The Servant King hymn we’ll sing later which was one of Grandpa’s favourites attests to the servant attitude he modelled.
Grandpa had a heart of service, he was hardworking, always lending a hand or volunteering. He showed his love through these acts of service. On one trip to Perth while staying with Jacquie and Daniel Grandpa went missing one morning. They discovered his car was also missing and Grandma surmised that he had probably gone to Bunnings. Sure enough he returned with all the parts needed to fix their leaking toilet. He saw a need and acted immediately. He never let an opportunity go to fix things or help with any projects; he liked being helpful and having something to do.
Grandpa loved his grandchildren and was always generous to them; with his time and with his money. The money we received for birthdays and Christmas went a long way; whether it was used by Tara to by books on horses or me to buy a basketball pole and ring it made us feel special. He always spoke positively about his family while telling us stories of our cousins, aunties or uncles. Stephanie remembers him always telling her that he loved her and was already looking forward to seeing her again when he visited next year. Jeremy remembers Grandpa teaching him how to play snooker on a trip to Menai; spending many hours downstairs playing pool and snooker with Grandpa and watching Hogan’s Heroes. Jeremy is a carpenter and was always impressed that Grandpa had built his house. He remembered when he was younger on a visit to Perth Grandpa built something with him using wood and nails which was something Jeremy enjoyed. When Jeremy started his apprenticeship Grandpa gave him his first car loan interest free but made sure he learnt about paying loans back. This was a huge help to Jeremy with his apprenticeship.
Grandpa was always spoiling us with gifts, sweets and treats. He always wanted to pay for everything. Special trips we remember fondly were dinner at the revolving CentrePoint Tower restaurant, ferry trips to Taronga Zoo and Manly, staying at Long Jetty/The Entrance, or their annual three week visits to us in Darwin and Perth. Tara also remembers on trips to Taronga Zoo that Grandma would never go into the snake enclosure but Grandpa had no fear. She also remembers him videoing birthdays and special events, playing board games (which her dad wasn’t keen on), playing snooker and Grandpa’s favourite pianola songs Those Magnificent Men In Their Flying Machines and Oklahoma. She remembers him always being patient; often waiting in a chair in the shopping centre while Grandma and Tara did their shopping and always without complaining.
He was always up for a game of snooker or golf or attending school or sporting events; he was a great supporter.
Grandpa had a lot of energy! Whether it was playing golf, snooker, tennis, dancing or laughing it was always with energy and enthusiasm.
Grandpa was a golfer; Tara remembers he always played golf when he visited The Entrance/Long Jetty with the neighbour Bill who had a corgi. He was also of the vintage that wore a singlet under his shirt, always two layers in case he got a hole in one!
Grandpa worked for Lincoln for 37 years. Here’s an article from the 40th Anniversary edition of the Lincscope newsletter in July 1978.
Grandpa loved tennis; some of our earliest memories are of joining Grandma and Grandpa at Tennis which was a novelty and fun for us. Tara and Ethan remember being dragged along to tennis; it was a bit boring but the alternative was being attacked by magpies if you ventured to the other side of the fence. Grandpa had so much energy that he outlasted the rest of the club members; as people got older Grandpa was eventually the only one left who could still play a game so tennis eventually became lunch instead.
The ‘Billiard Room’ was a special place in Menai; not only did it house the Pianola where we could have sing-a-longs to tunes by The Seekers and Those Magnificent Men In Their Flying Machines but it was also a place to play…snooker! To be honest I can’t remember ever playing Billiards in the Billiard Room apart from reading up on the rules once with Grandpa. Regardless it was a special place to go.
Grandpa loved to dance. We have lots of good memories of Grandpa’s enthusiastic dancing at our weddings with his grandkids and dancing with Grandma when they celebrated their 65th Wedding Anniversary with us in Perth.
Grandpa loved to laugh and his laugh was like a shock to the system; he would lose all composure and let out a loud shout of enjoyment. It was like the energy inside him had welled up and burst forth! Watching a funny movie with Grandpa could result in regular laughing fits…
Grandpa loved building things with his hands; 3 real houses and multiple dolls houses
Tara remembers him building cupboards and working on the laundry and back room of her house with her dad and he also built her a four room multi story brown and white dolls house with a roof, open on one side that she played with.
Stephanie remembers:
“I used to always play with the dolls house that Grandpa made for Mum; it was the best dolls house and had a tiny clock in the kitchen, a serving window out of the kitchen a garage and the front was green like grass. Anyways I played with it for years and years and one day I had a realisation of how he made the shower - out of a bent painted nail - and I thought wow my Grandpa is the smartest Grandpa in the world! Then he made me my own triple story dolls house with an attic and fine stairs made out of carefully cut wood. And Grandma made beautiful hemmed curtains and two varnished gumnuts at the front door as flower pots with tiny satin roses. A few years ago Grandpa repainted it for me.” (Steph)
Jacquie actually thought he was a carpenter while she was little until one day she discovered he was an accountant and carpentry was only his hobby!
Grandpa was dependable, ordered, had a black and white view on many things, was methodical and no fuss and enjoyed life; he enjoyed people; he loved bus rides to Miranda, day trips with friends and family and the church group’s Quality Time trips. He had a lot of life in him, loved his family and we’ll miss him very much.
Last year I we came over and visited Grandpa at Wareena and I got to play balloon tennis with him and tell him what my strongest memory of he and Grandma was: Grandma and Grandpa and their house have always had a very wonderful yet distinct smell about them. I grew to associate this smell with something magical and special. When they arrived to visit us in Darwin or Perth they brought this special scent with them on their clothes and in their suitcases. I told Grandpa that my strongest memory of them was not the Billiard Room, nor the Pianola, not the Blue Room, the Yellow Peddle Car or the Grandfather clock and its soothing tones throughout the night… it was the smell of mothballs!
That brought a lovely smile and a laugh to Grandpa’s face and that’s the way I will remember him.